True Happiness

True happiness doesn't come in a bottle or offered in pills. It isn't something that can be wished for or given as a gift. It isn't somethig that I can have at every moment, of every day and at every second.

Events in my life over the past 2 weeks has helped me realize that I am responsible for my own happiness. It is up to me to let how much stress and frustration I become rule my life or to let people who truely don't know me, try and devalue me. In the past many people have tried and succeeded, much to my tries not to let things and people get to me.

However this is one time in my life when I will change. It is my decision not to let those negatives become who or what people associate me to be. I know I am better than people sometimes give me credit for and the only people that I want to prove myself to are ME and GOD.

I know it have it in me to make the decisions that will make me happy. So I am beginning my HAPPINESS PROJECT! I am working on me, one day at a time.

True Happiness

True happiness doesn't come in a bottle or offered in pills. It isn't something that can be wished for or given as a gift. It isn't somethig that I can have at every moment, of every day and at every second.

Events in my life over the past 2 weeks has helped me realize that I am responsible for my own happiness. It is up to me to let how much stress and frustration I become rule my life or to let people who truely don't know me, try and devalue me. In the past many people have tried and succeeded, much to my tries not to let things and people get to me.

However this is one time in my life when I will change. It is my decision not to let those negatives become who or what people associate me to be. I know I am better than people sometimes give me credit for and the only people that I want to prove myself to are ME and GOD.

I know it have it in me to make the decisions that will make me happy. So I am beginning my HAPPINESS PROJECT! I am working on me, one day at a time.

Moving Forward...

Today is my first official day back to work in almost a week. I had to take off on Monday because I got sick...really sick. Last weekend I felt heaviness in my chest and couldn't shake it. It only got progressively worse through Saturday and Sunday. On Monday I could barely breathe and decided to take off work. Went to the doctor and got a diagnosis of Bronchitis. She recommended that I stay off work until Thursday, which really did help. I was able to get the antibiotics in me and start the steroids. In the past 3 days I have begun to feel a lot better.
Yesterday (Thursday) I made an attempt to return to work. Got ready, drove to work and then got there and my boss asked me if I was really, really feeling well enough to be there. She said that they had enough people to cover and if I felt that I wanted to take another day to rest, then she felt it would be okay. So I took her up on her offer. I was excited to be there but knew that one more day would be helpful.
Today I am definitely going back...there is no question about that. I need to get back on track with work and life.With that said, I am taking life day by day. I am attempting to live without being afraid or become frustrated because I am worried about express an idea, thought or feeling that I am having.
My work set up a supervisory referral for me to a counselor and I find out today where and when I need to go. I am welcoming the chance to sit and talk with an outside party, so that way I can get ideas on how to deal with what they want me to work on. Setting goals is going to be the one way I can work through any issues and problems.

Well...that is enough for right now. I will update later. This weekend is gonna be busy as I have lunch with my husband and inlaws on Saturday and then a birthday party for a friends boy on Sunday. Monday....it is a holiday so I am going to concentrate on time with the hubby and beginning that weeks homework.

It's been a minute...

In the past week a lot has happened.

Some good, but mostly bad.
I was pulled into a meeting with my boss and her boss and asked if I felt that I was working with the right age group. Right now I am a teacher working with Infants and Toddlers. I have been working with young children for the past 5 years and know that it is my calling. She asked me this because she noticed that I have been becoming increasingly frustrated in my classroom and she feels that it could turn into a siutaion that could hurt the children.

Let me clarify that I have never thought about hurting a child or myself. I have never had thoughts of suicide of intentionally hurting myself.

My boss referred me to a counseling service and last night I called. I immediately felt that I was being judged, thought this is not really the case. So they asked some questions and I have to see a counselor...which I am welcoming. This past year has been a challenge....with the miscarriage and losing my job. I have been doubting and questioning everything.

After the phone call, I called my mom and spoke to her for a good amount of time. She helped me to understand a little more about why I deal with stress and frustration the way I do. When I become frustrated....I either cry or scream. She told me that when I was younger that her and my dad used to scream a lot....as a way to control/discipline us. I KNEW immediately when she said that, that is the reason I do that. To get the kids to listen or behave....I resort to having a loud voice or practically screaming.

I do not want to be a bad teacher...and I am not. I am just overwhelmed and frustrated with certain situations in my life and I need to find alternatives to dealing with it...instead of taking it on the children. So right now I am using the 1-5 method...where I count to 5 if I begin to feel overwhelmed or rushed. I also am waiting for the counselor to call back so I can have my first session.

Ovulation Confirmed!!

For the past few days I have been using the OPK's to test for ovulation. I have also been checking my cervix for it's positioning and texture, as well as relying in the Ovacue. Well today I did my normal reading with the vaginal sensor and it CONFIRMED that ovulation occurred...I am estatic!! I've only had the Ovacue for like 2 weeks and it already is working of us.

I went and did the OPKs....they too are showing positive. YAY!!!

Now to wait the dreaded two weeks and BD a few more times...just for insurance.

:D

Getting ready to return to life...with a new routine!

I have been on vacation since the 23rd of December and I LOVED IT! I work as an Early Head Start teacher and it is such a wonderful job. However just like with any job...there is a time you need space and a VACATION! This was the case with me. However after this vacation I am going back with a renewed sense of myself and what I am able to accomplish.

Starting tomorrow I am going to work out after work either at my work or at the gym in my complex. I am going to work out 3-4 times a week.  I have to make time for this...especially since my number one goal is to become a mom. In order for that to happen I need to lose the weight.

I also gave up fast food for my New Years resolution and I plan to stick with it. Dunkin Donuts is my weakness...especially their coffee. I plan to make my own at home and drink a cup before I leave for work in the morning. This will help me get up and going, but I won't be tempted to stop on my way to work.

I am sure some adjusting to the schedule will have to occur. I start back to school in a week's time and will need to find time to study. But I will continue on with my new goals and make sure they get accomplished.

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year ALL!

It was interesting welcoming 2011 in last night...as I slept right threw it and all the ruckus my neighbors were making. :D Thank God for sleeping pills!

I started yesterday with a renewed sense of purpose. I believe that 2011 is going to be our year to have a baby...or at least conceive one. It is going to take a lot of work on my part though. This includes trying to get myself fit for baby. :D

My New Years resolution is go lose 50 lbs. I realize this can't be done overnight...and I am not going to even try. My goal is to lose 1-2 lbs per week. I know with this goal it may take almost the whole 2011 year, but if that is what it takes...that is what I will do.

I will be exercising 4-5 times a week and am gonna utilize the gym at my pool house and at my work. This will allow me to switch it up and be flexible with my work out schedule.

I hope you had a good new year and are as enthusiastic about your goals as I am!
Good luck!